Monday, September 16, 2013

HOW DO YOU TURN OFF THE BABY MAKING SWITCH?


Everywhere I turn there are pregnant women. And newborn babies.

In fact, I'm not sure if they really are everywhere, or if I'm just noticing them more lately. You see, my 'baby' is now four years old, and I'm kind of missing growing a baby inside my belly*. I'm missing the kicking and moving; the moments between just the two of you that nobody else knows about; and the endless wondering and excitement about meeting your baby on one of the biggest days of your life.

This in itself is a crazy thing, because I wasn't sure if I was going to have children in the first place. I wasn't that girl who dreamed of her wedding day, and had a family number. Perhaps I'm plain strange, or just a later bloomer, but these things weren't originally part of my life plan.

Then something happened. I wanted this. Suddenly it seemed possible. Doable. And once that decision was made, I could no longer use all the logical reasons for not having a baby. Suddenly it was just something I wanted. No words could reason with me. That was when the switch went on.

And then the moment I gave birth to my first son, I wanted another.

My husband says it's the law of nature. It's what keeps us reproducing. No logic to it. Just a chemical reaction in our bodies. Nature's way. I'm not sure I'd even want to go through child birth, sleepless nights, nappies or toddlers ever again. We have been utterly blessed with two beautiful daughters, and two amazing sons.

But what is it with that darn switch that just won't turn off?

Please tell me that you feel the same way. If you don't, when does the switch go off?

*The above photograph was taken during my last pregnancy by award winning photographer Felicity Thomson. You can see more of her amazing work here.