Friday, January 14, 2011


Ten years ago today, hubby (aka fiance) and I did this:

And with all the hard work to get here, I'm a tad bitter that the best they can come up with is tin or aluminium for a ten year wedding anniversary. And while I can't say we have the perfect marriage (what's that anyway?), I do have some thoughts about why we will be giving each other some sort of metal this year:
  1. MARRY YOUR FRIEND. I knew my husband for eight years before we were married. That means that we hung out with mutual friends, each other's girl/boyfriends, even a previous fiance (I'll save that post for another time). It means that we knew each other warts and all before we got together. It also meant that we could carry on an awesome conversation on opposite sides of the room. And still can.
  2. HAVE THE SAME CORE VALUES. One of the biggest things I adore about my husband is his love/hope in God and his sense of calling. As it turns out, it's exactly the same as mine. In all the unusual places we've ended up, we've always been sure it was exactly where we should have been. There's nothing like uniting at your core level.
  3. KNOW YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE. You know the languages - quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, gifts, acts of service. Your partner speaks one of these languages more than any of the others, so do you. Are you giving each other what you need? Speak each other's language. Every day. (You can learn what you and your partner's love language is here.)
  4. REMEMBER + REFLECT. Let's face it, marriage after a while doesn't always have that same animal magnetism it did when you first got together. There's nothing romantic about being at your wits' end by 6pm, the house in a mess, still wearing your pyjamas, yelling at the kids as your husband walks in the door from work. It's important to remember how you felt in those early days, and how holding your partner's hand was just so special. It's good to remember (and talk about) those first encounters. It's amazing how good it feels to remember how it all started. For me it keeps the love alive. And reminds us how we got to where we are today.
  5. BE A FRIEND. You know how you treat your friends? Treat your partner exactly the same way. Interested in their day? Well, now it's time to treat the person you love the most like they're the most important person in your life. Give them the best of your time, not the leftovers.
  6. SHOW RESPECT + TRUST/SUPPORT. Did you know that women need respect from their partner, while men need trust and support? Time for more of that stuff now!
  7. DREAM TOGETHER. My husband is the best at this. He'll share his dreams with me. Often. I love it. And although I admit I'm not as good at this as he is, I love that he wants to share all of his dreams with me. It makes me want to share mine with him too.
  8. CONNECT. How often in a week do you and your partner regularly connect? Like have a conversation that doesn't revolve around what needs to be done, what the kids did today, your budget, etc. If you don't connect today, then it's easier not to connect tomorrow. And then the downward spiral begins. My hubby calls me on this often. (He is so wise, don't you think?) So meet regularly with your minds. We all know that once you connect that way, everything else is so much better.
  9. FIGHT. If you're going to fight, do it properly. But ensure that you also find closure. And do that properly too ;)
  10. MAKE UP. Even when you're not fighting. (I think you know what I mean).
What do you do to keep the sparkle in your relationship? 

This post was rewound at Life In A Pink Fibro on 30 April 2011.


  1. What a great post!! The other night it was our anniversary and we had dinner out on the balncony. It was lovely - no television/internet/iphones, nothing to distract our conversation. I had to drag the kitchen table out there though - so I've asked hubby if we can get an outdoor setting so we can do this more often - he was a really easy way to reconnect and I want to make a habit of it :-)

  2. Fantastic post Kymmie - I love it. And good on you guys for being so 'together' in your relationship. It's easy to slip into autopilot when little kids require so much energy and care. You've given me something to think about - thanks!

    A big happy anniversary to the two of you - sounds like you were made for each other.

  3. Oh my gosh, how cute are you guys!

    I think it's important to treat your partner like you would a friend, be respectful of them and never take them for granted... Works for me! xx

  4. wonderful reminder of what is needed ... it will be my 10 year wedding anniversary this year too!!

  5. I love, love, love this. I also live by absolutely everything you said. Thanks for this wonderful post. PS. We're also celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary this May.

  6. Gorgeous wedding pics.
    Gorgeous post and yes - very wise words to live and love by.
    We are coming up to 21 yrs OMG.

  7. Such a wonderful post. The Five Love Languages changed my entire perspective on relationships and has grown me more than any other book I've read to date. Lucky for us, Eric and I share the same one: words of affirmation. What are you?

  8. Incredibly beautiful thoughts from an incredibly beautiful woman. So happy I found your blog, you have brought me nothing but happy thoughts this year. Can't wait to share this post with everyone I know.

  9. A great post, and wise words to live by.
    We are celebrating our 11th anniversary this year and it seems that each year gets better and better.

    Adore you blog, am so glad I found it

  10. I love your post I am skim reading at the moment but I will be back to re read. I am thinking of having a challenge involving romance (how coincidental!!) Would you be in it??? It will be pretty simple :-)

  11. Ps You BEAUTIFUL bride you!!! Everyone looked stunning.

  12. I kinda needed this post..... I am the absolute guiltiest at letting my relationship slide, esp now kids have come along!! I could definitely take some pointers from you!!! You guys are gorgeous....

  13. Happy Anniversary! 10 years flies by so quickly!

  14. beautiful beautiful beautiful!! what a gorgeous bride you are!! another similarity - my hubby is great at sharing dreams, connecting and spending time together. once a week when the kids are asleep he sets up the spare room and we cuddle on the couch, with wine and a dvd (usually a girly one) - i love that he thought of this idea on his one!!

  15. Gosh your a very wise woman!! I love this post and can't believe I nearlly missed it! Happy Anniversary beautiful girl xx


  16. kymmie, this was such a SWEET post. all of those things were so true and I can't wait to apply them if God's will for me is to be married :) What a beautiful testimony of what He's done in your lives.

    Have you read Love & Respect? Great book!

  17. Just got back to look at this post and it is lovely. I distincly remember someone doing some sewing for your special day, you looked stunning. Maybe I took notice then because I was getting ready for my own wedding. Yep we made it to ten years too . . .almost. So thankyou for showing that it can be done if you have a sound foundation. P.S. You look great in your fancy pants or 'fanciest pants'.

  18. Happy Anniversary!!!! 10 Years is a fantastic milestone and it looks like you celebrated it in style.
    I think your advice about marriage is pure gold... so so so true all of it.
    Thanks for sharing.

  19. Lovely blog! I am putting your button at my place so I will be able to visit you at anytime on every comp and everywhere!
    All the best!

  20. You are too gorgeous inside and out!
    I love, love, love your list - so wise and true.

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful photos and your loving truths,

    Felicity x

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  22. I love learning about how to strengthen my marriage! It seems you were able to summarize so eloquently the most important things I have learned from so many places in this one incredible post. I'm so glad I found you. You've earned another follower!

    Your wedding pics are amazing! The royal couple has nothing on you!

  23. Date night! At least once a week, with no talk of kids. It makes us both happy! :)

  24. Oh I love this post! :D

    Stopping by from Weekend Rewind.

  25. SCRUMPTIOUS, darling you. I am so happy to see you looking so beautiful on your wedding day. The colour of your dress is delicious.

    All the Fancy Pants in the world can't touch you on this day.

    Fark, I sound a bit like a stalker the way I go on and on about your beauty and your clothes. Sheesh, embarrassment!! I'm really not like that!!

    Your advice for marriage is excellent. I'd probably put the bottom one at the very top of the list (otherwise, why not just be flatmates, right!?) but otherwise it's perfect. x

  26. What a great post!
    I'd have to agree with all of your pointers!
    It's so important to work on a marriage and not take your partner for granted!

  27. Great post. Even though Mr Karen is no.1, so often he comes way down low at the bottom of my list. I don't like it, but it is tricky with 3 little boys. So important to make time for each other.
    LOVE your wedding dress, you gorgeous thing.

  28. loved your post...every bit of it..:) And well though I'm too young to think of marriage right now as I'm studying, I'll keep this post of yours as a reference once I do get married:)here's my blog:

    visiting from the Fibro:)

  29. So beautiful and such wise words! You looked AMAZING on your wedding day. And your list of 'rules' is spot on.

    Thanks for Rewinding at the Fibro.

  30. Sage advice - hubby and I were well formed friends before we got together and then married and I have to say the ability to laugh together is the glue that binds us in times of hardship!

    Gorgeous pics, looks like a magical day (and not 10 years ago so quite timeless too!)


Thank you for your thoughtful and positive words and taking the time to comment. Love Kymmie. xx